just woke up, feeling peaceful.

All these quotes are so beautiful!

"An Angel in the book of life wrote down our babies birth, and whispered as she close the book....."Too beautiful for earth."

"Some say you are too painful to remember, I say you are too precious to forget!"



Baby A became Jonas Léon Armand, Jonas for starting with a J and having five letters like Jacob, and the fact that it means "dove" a sign for peace. Just before Jacob died he had finally read The Giver, which made him fall in love with this name. Léon and Armand are for my wonderful grandfather and father. I particularly like that Léon means lion, a fierce and strong animal like Jonas. His Hebrew name is Feivel Shlomo. I always knew I would have a little Feivel, and I'm so happy it is him. He is believed to have Cerebral Palsy which I am more than prepared to handle. I love him so much.


Baby B, my beautiful angel baby, became Ysaline Ekaterina Mathilde. (ee-zah-LEEN) Before Jacob died I was really trying to crack down on naming these babies, I gave him the Meilleurs Prenoms book and told him to make a list of his top 10 favourite girls names. When I found the list after he died it looked like this:
FAV. GIRLS NAMES
1. Ysaline
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
So, she was named by him.
Before Jacob died, we had been trying to find out about his European family that he had no information about. We came across this lady, named Zosia Ekaterina. After he died I uncovered more info about her. She was a relative of Jacob's that housed people during the Holocaust, not just Jews, but gypsies, and homosexuals, and anyone that the Nazis were after. Katia, as she was called, was a savior. Just like my little girl is my savior. So, there was nothing else to name her. Mathilde is for my beautiful Maman. Her Hebrew name is Erela Ahuviah ("angel" and "loved by God").


Baby C became Avelaine Shirin Anahira (shih-REEN). Avelaine was suggested by my mother before she died. It also means "nut" and Lainey has always been my little peanut. Shirin is for my grandmother, and Anahira is a Maori name meaning "angel" which can honor both auntie Angélique and Daddy.
I plan on her Hebrew name being Aviva Zlata. Aviva means life, which i hope with every fiber of my being that she can hang on to.


Words can't express how much I love my children and how much they inspire me. They are such fighters and they are my heroes! I miss Ysa so much but I feel as if she is in a better place with her Daddy.

Today is a brand new day.