my back hurts, i'm tired, i'm moody, heartburn, wahwah

I really can't complain anymore when so many magical things are happening all around me!
I know i'm not supposed to like working but I can't help it, it's just fantastic!
I get this high off of calling families and telling them to check their email because i'm sending them the picture of their new child thousands of miles away.
I love meeting with the little local children who don't have a family but soon will.

But I still cry for the millions who still don't have a home, and the thousands of parents who haven't been blessed with one of these children yet. My impossible goal is to give every child a home. I won't be able to change the world but i'd like to change my corner of it.

PS Turn up your speakers, I have an all new playlist :)

It's Summertime in Paris

Ah, it's summer.
And when you're a Parisian, summer means get the heck out of the city as fast as you can. When all of the locals pack their bags and head south to their shared country homes where they will bask all day in the sun, swim a bit in the pool, and drink some fabulous local wine.

Unless you have to work, like myself. (Ok, I guess I am guilty of leaving to my grandmother's village on the week-ends. Whatever.)

During the summer you have Paris, minus the Parisians. All you see are flashbulbs going off, tourists invading every street and asking everyone in their rough French where a good restaurant is. And I have to say, I don't completely mind it.

Ok, so Parisians are notorious for their less than friendly attitude. And when the Parisians are out of Paris during the summer, I no longer have to worry about the tall high heeled woman taking off her shoe and stabbing me when I bump into her on the street, or the unfriendly looks of people in the lift, or obnoxious people swearing and honking their horns when they drive through my streets.

Don't get me wrong, I love Paris...and I love Parisians too. And not just the friendly ones like myself ;)
The truth about Parisians is that they aren't just rude and arrogant for no reason. They are cut throat people who get what they want, who fight for what they want, and will stop at nothing to get there. If this means pushing past you in the street, rolling their eyes when you take too long with their food orders, or simply raising their voice a little, heck, they'll do it. I don't think it's an entirely BAD quality to be a little nasty, is it? Come on, be honest now, these are our leaders, they've obviously done SOMETHING right. And when you get to know them, you find they aren't so bad after all :)

But I have to admit that when they are gone, it feels like Paris is all MINE. These people in the streets will be gone in a few days. But i'm sticking around.

Have a lovely summer.

i just have a whimsically feeling from this song

yay :) doesn't it make you feel lighter? oh my gosh i love Irish music. Been lovin' me some Coors right now!
i'm pretty much dormant on the couch and have been watching a lot of travel shows lately. the weather is such a FAIL right now. oh geez, and work starts soon D:

In ten years...

Ash bounced this on to me :) So, where do I see myself in ten years?

Hmm. In ten years i'll be somewhere around the age of 33, ha. I hope to have my three little triplets being BIG kids. I still think i'll have my dream of adopting, and maybe at this time i'll have a little adopted toddler perhaps? But how will I manage to still be living in PARIS with four children, when apartments here are not made for more than two children? That'll be a challenge.

Ideally, I'll still be in the same apartment as I am in now, although it could be cramped. But I can really see myself being in the suburbs, one of the nice quiet villages where the children can run and play in the garden but we can still visit grandmother and grandfather in the city on weekends. Oh, how lovely that would be. I see my little ones being great friends with cousin Agnes and Cléméntine, who won't be far in age from them. Of course they will be great friends with their adopted older siblings Prune and Capu as well.

Jacob and I will still be young...most thirty three years olds (atleast in France) haven't even begun to have children yet. In ten years we'll be celebrating a decade of marriage. How lovely that'll be.

Hopefully by the tenth year I will have lost my triplet belly! hehe.

I want my sister to be living adventerously and following her dreams. I want to see her compete in London 2012 and by the time she is 22 be finishing up her education to be whatever she wants to be.

I would love to still be an adoption agent, blessing families with children they've longed for.

In ten years I really need to fulfill my goal of visiting my Tante Chaya in Israel like i've promised her for the past two years :/

Most of all, I want to be happy in ten years. I want Jacob and my children and my sister and my parents to all be HAPPY. When I think in terms of my age, ten years doesn't seem far at all. But when I think of how in ten years my children will be pre-teens and start sassing me, it begins to feel so much farther away.

I can't wait though :)

Thanks Ash, this was fun!

I'm passing it to...
Giovanna @ lavitadigiovanna (Even though I know you don't blog much, you should do this!)
Claire @ Winnie & Eva (Same with you Claire!)

so exhaustedddd

i had a lovely weekend at the sea with Jacob. it was fantastic.
anddd today was my birthday. i'm 23 :) i've thought i was 23 for awhile now so it's not a big deal haha. we had a nice dinner and I got a beautiful photo that Jeffrey took (oh, did i mention that he went home to brooklyn for summer? i miss that little bugger) that has myself and jacob holding my belly and him kissing it. it's in black and white and looks quite professional. it also has a nice picture frame that i'm not exactly sure how to translate into English, haha.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO TIRED IN MY LIFE THOUGH.
Seriously. I'm having such a hard time breathing and I'm in soo much pain. i'm extremely swollen too! Ugh, the happy and giddy part of pregnancy is SO OVER. haha. it'll be a lonnnnnng few months. I feel bad for complaining but you guys will still love me :)

Greatest moment of my life :)

Today was perfect. Amazing. More than I could have asked for.

So, I barely got any sleep last night. We had planned to meet Fleur and her parents at about noon at a café. I changed my outfit several times. I'm sure she wouldn't care at all what I was wearing, but I had been waiting for this moment since I was fourteen.
I got to the café early. I was shaking. Then, from behind me, I heard an extremely high pitched voice.
"Amélie, is that you?"
I lost my breath for a second and turned around. Fleur's mother looked exactly the same as she had last time I saw her. I kissed her and her husband, and FINALLY got to lay my eyes on her. HER. My daughter. My flesh and blood. All I had been dreaming of. I just couldn't help but put my hands to my face when I saw her, and I just started to cry a bit. She's SO beautiful. I could see myself in her, and I could see Julien in her too. She looks like Angélique, she has my father's smile. And surprisingly enough, she had some tears too, and she reached out her arms for me. I hugged her with everything I had. She's such a petite little thing. She started speaking to me quickly and happily, and she has the most beautiful clear voice with the smallest hint of a German accent (they live in Luxembourg). Even her parents wiped away tears, which definitely made me let my guard down. So they really wanted this, huh? Fleur spoke of how much she liked my hair, she spoke of her little sister Lise, and I told her that I am having three babies of my own! She just squealed about having more siblings. All this time I was wiping tears from the corners of my eyes. and just then, the most magical thing of all...i felt a kick. I grabbed Fleur's hand and put it there, and she smiled at me.
Fleur's parents made a very nice scrapbook for me. It has pictures of Fleur as a baby (we were nearly identical!) her first lost tooth, her on holidays and first school days. It was beautiful. I gave her a gift of my own. A picture of a very young me kissing my very large belly. When the time unfortunately came that we had to leave, Fleur's parents said they'd keep in touch. If they don't, I certainly will- now that I know her, I never want to let her go. She's the most amazing person I've met. I'm SO incredibly blessed to have her in my life. As we hugged goodbye I completely lost control of my emotions. Fleur told me "Don't cry, Amélie! This isn't the end, it's only the beginning!" I've felt more at peace than ever before. It confirmed everything wanted to know before; Fleur is happy and was given everything in the world. I made the right decision, and I can finally say that and MEAN it.



-Amélie

Dear Amélie

That's what I first read. It was from Fleur's parents. They described to me how a few years earlier they had cautiously stepped into an open adoption with their second child, and how beneficial it was to them. So they decided they weren't afraid of me anymore, and instead actually now want me a part of Fleur's life. After I read it and told my family the news, they seemed confused as to why i wasn't collapsed on the floor sobbing and thanking God. It's just...I never expected this to happen. I don't know if Fleur's parents understand the emotions behind what they are doing. I wrote them and email though, and I'm excited. This is what I've been waiting for. Meeting the girl who changed my life forever. Does she look like me, or Julien? I know he'd be dying to meet her but I don't know what to do. I just never thought this would happen for twenty more years till she found me on her own. What will I say? Will she think I abandoned her? Oh God, I just want her to know I love her.